“Not tonight, dear. I have uh….uhm…constipation.”
If you find yourself making such excuses more often than you actually want to, then you’re most likely considering how you’re going to deal with a diminishing libido. Especially more so when your low libido is the source of your relationship problems.
Let’s get one thing clear: a healthy libido manifests differently for every individual. It’s a perfectly normal occurrence for some men to have a lower sex drive than others. However, changes in libido may result in anxiety, worry, and stressed relationships.
There’s no question about it. Libido changes from person to person, but there are many ways for you to raise it. Certain conditions such as aging, underlying ailments, mental health, and satisfaction in your relationships affect libido. Exercising regularly, eating a healthier diet than usual, reducing anxiety and stress, reducing alcohol and drug consumption, and reigniting the flame in your sexual relationship.
We’ve put together a list of the main reasons why men experiencing consistently declining sex drives, and compiled them into one easy-to-digest list for our readers. And so, without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the six main reasons for diminishing sex drives in men.
Hormonal changes are part and parcel of the aging process, and they may lead into a gradual decline in your testosterone production and sex drive.
By age 60, many individuals will have undergone changes in their libido, apart from having to deal with chronic health conditions that exacerbate the problem. This includes cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder, all of which affect sexual satisfaction and sex drive.
Testosterone levels start to flag at age 30 onwards, and low testosterone is another factor that may affect sexual performance.
Women reach menopause at around ages 40-50, after which estrogen levels decline, leading to loss of sexual interest, function, and health changes — much as men with low testosterone do.
2 Mood swings, anxiety, and depression
It’s hard to get “in the mood” for love when you can’t get in the right mood. That’s why focusing on your mental health is something you might want to prioritize — for good reason. See, depression and diminished sex drives have a strong correlation. Worse, pain experienced during sexual intercourse is more likely for women who have been clinically diagnosed with anxiety.
And even if your mental health is all in order without a clinical diagnosis, constant stress may affect your sex drive. This includes problems such as work-related stress, financial issues, and addictions, which may have your sexual energies focused elsewhere.
3 Chronic underlying diseases and maintenance medications
Cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and diabetes affect the circulatory system, meaning it may affect adequate blood flow to the genitals, which lead to erectile dysfunction.
Furthermore, prostate cancer may affect sex drive. The prostate is a gland which is responsible for optimal male sexual function; therefore, erectile dysfunction tends to be a not-uncommon side effect of prostate cancer treatment.
Women, on the other hand, may experience an illness known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder, which leads to a loss in engaging in sex and lesser desire for sexual pleasures and fantasies.
Lastly, prescription medications may have low libido as a common side effect. These may include hypertension medication, contraceptives, and anti-epileptics, among many others, all of which may affect your sex drive.
4 Lack of physical activity / obesity
Sitting is the new smoking. And all those hours sitting on your desk is a hell of a lot of smoking — that’s 8 hours for many of us. Obesity, on the other hand, is linked to a sedentary lifestyle, resulting in diminished libido for both men and women.
Physical exercise and being overweight also affect positive body image and confidence, which may further reduce libido.
5 Not getting enough satisfaction from one’s relationship
People change. So do trust and intimacy with your partner. Both may affect your sex drive. Relationship problems, whether real or imagined, do impact both parties’ overall satisfaction and libido.
6 Alcohol and drug consumption
Anybody who has tried to engage in sexual activity while being severely inebriated will attest to the fact that drinking too much can lead to reduced sex drive and acute erectile dysfunction. If you want your willy to work at its best, lay off the alcohol before a big night, or give it up altogether. Drug abuse may also cause the same sexual problems. Consult a specialist if you feel like you need help with drug or alcohol addiction.
Consult your primary healthcare provider
Changes in your sex drive may be a serious concern. If you’re worried about drastic changes, consult your doctor. They will be able to explain and provide more information, apart from determining the best course of action for you to take in order to treat it.
Your doctor may recommend lifestyle changes, prescription medicines, or dietary supplements to help.
Low testosterone is also a major cause of low libido and sexual dysfunction in men. If this is confirmed by your doctor, then they may recommend testosterone replacement therapy or any of the above treatments to help you regain the lost energy, libido, and performance back to normal, healthy levels.
Nevertheless, consult your doctor if changes in your libido are sudden; if changes in libido started to happen when taking a new medicine; if engaging in sexual activity is painful; if you are experiencing any other symptoms; or if you are undergoing mental health or relationship issues.
We understand that discussing sexual problems with another individual might be a tricky subject, therefore leading other men to try other alternatives such as supplements. But it is important to consult your doctor before taking them — especially more so if you have any chronic underlying medical conditions.