Anal is a bit of a taboo topic. You’re probably not going to be discussing it at the dinner table and it’s not typically a thing explained in sex ed. It’s just not talked about enough, so when people want to try it out, it can be overwhelming and stressful. Being curious is natural though, and there’s nothing wrong with anal sex. You do, however, need to make sure that you and your partner are well informed and experiment in a comfortable and knowledgeable way.
It should not hurt. You have probably heard and seen in movies, books, and other media that anal sex is always painful for the receiver the first time. This is not true, if you do it right, it shouldn’t hurt at all. The keys to this are taking it slow, relaxing, lubrication and communication. If you are not doing these things, it’s very likely the receiver is not going to have a good first experience. I feel it should go without saying to not just go for it and force it in, but I’ll say it anyway. It should always be slow and worked up to. Start with something smaller, like a toy or a finger and once you feel your partner has been stretched properly and they feel comfortable with continuing you can add more fingers or use a slightly bigger toy until the proper amount stretching has been achieved. You should also make sure that you lubricate, and it’s not a once and done kind of deal. The anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant, like the vagina or penis does, so you must keep adding lube to the area. Always make sure your partner is relaxed and comfortable, nothing is going to be worse for the mood than them quietly suffering, not to mention you could really hurt them. Before you do anything, you should really talk about this, make sure it’s something you both want to try and that you both understand the need to communicate with the whole situation. Asking if they’re ready to move on, if you’re hurting them, if they would feel more comfortable in another position, these are all needed to make this something you will both enjoy and return to. And as with all sexual encounters, consent is a necessity, no surprises, and no pressuring, having anal is hard enough without someone springing it on you with no warning or ignoring your reluctance.
There are also some myths floating around the ether that I feel I should clear up for you. It is not guaranteed to not get you pregnant. No, it does not “stretch you out” and you’re not going to end up in diapers. You do need a condom. Apparently, while it is common knowledge that you cannot get pregnant while having anal, this is not true at all. There is a chance that semen can travel from the anus to the vagina, and it doesn’t even have to happen that night, semen can live in the body for up to five days, so any time during that there’s a chance the sperm could still get transferred and cause pregnancy. Anal is also not going to “stretch you out” that is not how the human body works. It will stretch to accommodate and then return to normal, just as with all functions performed by the body. You should really use a condom. It’s not only going to prevent pregnancy, but also STDs and STIs. You can still get sexually transmitted infections and diseases through anal, which is something that a lot of people don’t know. And even if you’re sure the person you’re with is clean the anus is typically not a hygienic place, so to prevent other kinds of infections just wrap it up. Anal is not always guaranteed to be clean, just like with vaginal sex, there’s is often discharged and the need for cleanup so having a condom on will help with this. Also, as a final note, don’t use the same condom for vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Like mentioned before, there are spreadable infections and diseases and just because you’re protecting yourself doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t need protection as well.
Just as some final notes. Anal doesn’t always mean doggy style. Hygiene is very important. And anal is not always for everyone, and that’s okay. There are lots of positions to try anal in and, in fact, doggy style is the most uncomfortable and least romantic ones out there. Not to mention friction alone is not going to get the job done most of the time. You’ll need to add some outer stimulation for the recipient’s pleasure because while it is possible to orgasm from just anal, it doesn’t happen all the time. For more comfortable and accessible positions try the cross, spoon and the reverse cowgirl. Another important point I need to make is cleanliness is necessary for this. And not just the recipients, but yours too. The anus and the penis should be washed with mild soap before anal sex. And the recipient should not use any kind of enema, it’s going to have the opposite effect you want. If you’re worried about residue in the anus, always use a condom and try a more fiber-filled diet and stay away from bowel irritation food a few days before. And finally, you don’t have to like anal, and neither does your partner. If one or both of you did not enjoy your experience you should both feel comfortable with expressing this. NO one should feel like they have to endure something they despise for someone else’s sexual pleasure. Speak up.
Anal is a complicated matter, but not more complicated than any other sexual act. Anal seems so daunting because no one is willing to talk about it openly. Hopefully, this article sheds some light on this experience you’re looking into and made you want to do more research. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to try anal and if it’s not for you that is okay. Life is too short to be ashamed of what makes us feel good, go out and enjoy it.