Good intentions are amazing, as long as they’re backed by action. Reading this article on becoming a better husband is your first step to making all of those good intentions into a reality. Congratulations! Becoming a better husband can be achieved through a series of positive habits you perform every day. There are so many reasons why you and your spouse married and with these tiny additions to your day, you can remind your spouse of all of those reasons.
#1 Inject Kindness, Everyday
Known as random acts of kindness, you’ve probably heard of these positive boosts in the world, passed from stranger to stranger. The commercials show smiling faces with helpful hands passing goodness around like candy. It’s inspiring. You can add random acts of kindness into your home and marriage with just a few simple changes. To ensure you stick to these changes, in the beginning, you’ll want to plan your random acts of kindness, write what you plan to do, and then check it off once completed. Eventually, these acts will become second nature and your spouse will know you are a great husband.
#2 Make Financial Decisions, Together
Financial secrets are not good for a marriage. If you are the “master of finances” that doesn’t mean your spouse should be in the dark and have to deal with unpleasant financial surprises. A great step to becoming a great husband is to share all of the financial changes with your spouse, though it’s important to not keep tabs on your spouse’s wallet or purse. That’s not opening up the financial landscape but injecting shades of controlling behavior, which won’t make you a better husband. Sharing the finances will show your spouse that you believe in his/her contributions to the discussion, and that the two of you are a team.
#3 Plan Some Fun, And Affordable, Outings
One thing that will show your spouse you are itching to be a better husband is fun. These activities don’t have to break the newly-shared finances mentioned above, but they should be full of laughter, bonding, and maybe even some intimacy. Some activities you could add to your marriage include:
- A late night walk (beach, neighborhood, spouse’s favorite store)
- Midnight Bowling
- Board games (Monopoly, Scrabble, Chess)
- Wine tasting
- Romantic, yet quirky, venue
- Create your own amazing fun events
Having given the above affordable examples, there’s nothing wrong with splurging on some activities, either.
#4 Be Positive, On Purpose
An excellent way to increase pleasure between you and just about anyone else is to be positive. Over a week or so, catalog your interactions with your spouse: How many are confrontational? How often is there yelling or other forms of fighting? Do you laugh more than you are angry? What amount of your interactions go toward strengthening your relationship rather than exchanging information?
After you have cataloged, and reflected upon, your interactions with your spouse, focus your efforts on positivity. Learn new jokes, especially the type your spouse enjoys and use them! If the punchline falls flatter than the floor, laugh. Rather than get mad or yell at each other, work on building a relationship full of laughter. With more laughter, your body releases the happy hormones, i.e. endorphins, and reduces cortisol, the stress hormone. With less shouting, more meaningful conversation, and jokes, you may find your spouse is hilarious. And vice versa.
#5 Turn Off The Moving Picture Box
Again, over a week or a few days, keep track of how much TV you watch, if you’re a TV-watching kind of man. After you’ve written down every instance, cut your TV time in half. Not only will you get more done throughout your day, feel better due to less negativity being presented to you, and graduate from a couch potato to a couch apple, you’ll have more time for or with your spouse. I’m just going to come right out and say this-your TV (and all of those characters from your favorite shows/movies) is not more important than your spouse. It’s just not. Know that. A great activity that will leave your TV lonely, but still give you awesome characters, is reading. You and your spouse can listen to an audiobook, together, or take turns reading a book. Decide which book you both would enjoy. Drama, suspense, murder, intrigue, mystery, it’s all there in a non-brain-clutching book. If TV isn’t your problem, but social media or work is, turn it off and turn your spouse on. Double entendre intended. 😉
#6 Schedule Couples Counseling
Like preventative medicine, couples counseling can prevent many issues in your relationship. Rather than waiting until your marriage is about to implode, speak to a trained professional throughout your marriage. When broaching this subject with your spouse, explain that you’re working on becoming a better husband and you want your marriage to be a strong as possible. Couples counseling can help your marriage move forward, rather than going back or becoming stagnant. You and your spouse can schedule weekly or biweekly appointments, attend a bonding seminar, or discuss any issues with a member of the clergy. No matter what avenue you take, all will improve your marriage.